#regression is a normal part of processing for a lot of people

[a-bottle-of-tyelenol]

agere odysseus headcanons !!

— art by duvetbox —

— requested by anon —

— cw: trauma & allusions to sa (it’s marked) —

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

🎀 - odysseus is a flip that has been regressing from a really young age. being crowned king at thirteen years old was extremely stressful for him and he regressed to cope with the sudden responsibilities and maturity thrust upon him— a coping mechanism that turned more and more into a trauma response as he got older and was faced with his experiences during the war and his travels back home. he’s had so many caregivers over the years, spanning from his mother (who took care of him when he was a child), penelope (who learned of his regression not long after he started courting her), polites (who had taken care of him throughout the war), hermes (who never strays far from his kin), and athena (who he had a very rocky relationship with, in part due to his regression). and if you like the iliad, I like to think of diomedes and menelaus as his babysitters 🥺

of these caregivers, odysseus never really commits to giving them any titles. for the most part, he speaks fairly formally and normal, even at his smallest, but he calls athena ‘momma’ when he’s really little and gives everyone else some kind of nickname. with penelope, he does that thing that kids do when they hear their parents use pet names for each other and then uses those same pet names instead of parental titles (like a toddler calling their father ‘sweetheart’ because that’s what their mother calls him), but it’s the pet names that Penelope calls him instead. so she likes to call him her little love and darling, so he responds by calling her (and telemachus!) the same thing with a lisp that she thinks is so cute. idk if that makes ANY sense but it’s adorable in my head okay

🩷 - as a caregiver, odysseus is very in tune with a little’s needs. he’s very good at playing pretend and is actually very well beloved by kids because of how charming he can be. before he left ithaca, he used to carve toys for the island’s children and that’s a habit he never stopped for the regressors he comes across. despite how easy it is for him to handle kids, it makes him incredibly uncomfortable because he’s convinced that the years of fighting and time away from his son has diminished any possibility he had of being a good father. he holds a lot of guilt for the kids that fell victim to war, particularly the ones he had a hand in dealing with, and so he often tries to avoid being anything more than a babysitter for someone because he can’t fathom the idea that he’s a good option for a caretaker.

🎀 - odysseus’ age range changes greatly with context and need. if he’s with another regressor, he will almost always be older than them to lead and take care of them; an instinct driven in him as king, captain, and an older brother. if he’s relatively okay and able to enjoy his regression (which is pretty rare), he’s still on the older side (around 6-10), and if he’s regressing because he’s triggered or upset, he goes much lower in order to process the extreme amount of trauma he goes through. he has a lot of trauma responses— including flashbacks, bouts of dissociation, and nightmares. he often regresses in tandem with these experiences and it leads to his smallness being directly linked to his fear, which is partly why he gets so young. he is pretty good at holding himself together when he’s around other people, but as soon as he’s alone, it’s very common for him to collapse into the meltdown of a terrified child. this means that he never really enjoys his regression and spends the entire time crying, sleeping, or making a mess of himself.

🩷 - ody believes that the best way to care for a kiddo is to run them absolutely exhausted. he’s a very physical caregiver. you’re throwing a fit? let’s go outside and herd the dozens of goats trampling ithaca. you’ve got the giggles? let’s chase all the hunting dogs and get that energy out. you’re feeling antsy? let’s teach you how to chop firewood. you can’t go down for a nap? well, an hour or two of jumping into the ocean will wipe you out. of course, he won’t just send you off to do it alone— he’s always one step behind, ready to put in some work himself even as he gets older and more run down. he thinks that kids should never be quiet and the idea of one sitting down to silently play with toys or do art is a travesty (unless, of course, that’s what the regressor wants to do. if they’d prefer being inside and having some quiet time, he’ll make sure they know that’s okay. he refuses to ever make a baby think of themselves as a burden to him).

🎀 - his favorite things while regressed are magic and games, which is partially why he loves being watched by hermes. the literal god of games AND a divine being that doesn’t mind using his most extravagant forms of magic to entertain a baby? absolutely incredible. his favorite game is knucklebones, or anything with dice really. he’s a tiny gambler in the making and nothing catches his attention like the chance of winning big on a roll. he’s a lot less active when he’s small— preferring not to partake in more physical games like tag— but he likes hide and seek or playing some form of spy (sneaking around and trying not to get caught as he smuggles snacks back to his quarters). and if you can combine magic AND games? oh, he’s sold. one time, hermes used some illusionary magic to form a bunch of little animal statues for ody for search for and collect like a scavenger hunt and, for every statue he found, the animal would come to life and disappear into the air. he lost his mind and spent an hour babbling about it to anyone who would listen.

🩷 - he’s extremely protective as a caregiver and also the coolest person ever to be one because he really doesn’t care that much for rules. these two qualities often combine in really interesting ways— like he won’t let a little touch a weapon, but he will use that weapon in increasingly mischievous ways if it makes them smile. one time, telemachus was quite small and really wanted to play with his father’s bow. odysseus, of course, told him that he was too small but that he was more than willing to show telemachus how it worked, which resulted in odysseus borderline harassing a bunch of chickens by shooting arrows and purposefully missing them by an inch. when their handler realized what his king was doing, odysseus responded by asking the handler to stand still so he could start raining arrows around him. you remember that scene in the lion king when mufasa was teaching simba how to pounce on zazu? yeah, that’s how odysseus is with everything.

(Cw: calypso and vague allusions to SA)

🎀 - odysseus is very nervous when regressed and is scared by just about everything. more specifically, he’s terrified of thunderstorms (for obvious reasons) and he is equally really unnerved and yet particularly comforted by women. he loves being cared for by women— there’s something so much less intimidating and safe about them after years of watching men slaughter each other. he’s very much drawn to the likes of penelope over any masculine caregivers. but! that being said, women make him nervous in a very different way than men do. with men, he’s spent thirteen years being surrounded by them and he knows what they do and who they are. he can defend himself against them, and he has before. but with women, all he can think about is what happened on calypso’s island, when he was frozen and unable to fight back against her, and how scared and abandoned he felt by athena, someone that had been his protector for so many years. he hates how these experiences corrupted the safety that he associated with a softer touch, especially when that touch was primarily his mother and the love of his life before he went to war. he craves time with penelope, but he trembles at the idea of her touching him. he craves time with athena, but weeps at the prospect of her leaving once again. it takes him a lot time before he can start to relax around them while regressed and both of them are very kind and patient with him.

(Cw: over)

🩷 - just like he’s very big on tiring littles out, odysseus is a nap guy. his solution to everything is to take a nap. he is genuinely just so exhausted and tired all the time and nothing feels better than curling up with a baby in his arms. he is such a family man and he loves being a father so much. if he hadn’t gone to war, he and penelope would’ve had so many little ones running around the castle and napping on every surface with him (all girls because the curse of his family is to have one boy per generation lol and telemachus would thrive having, like, six little sisters). as is, he fills that hole in his heart with taking care of his son and any other regressors he comes across, inviting them into his sacred nap time and catching up on some very well deserved rest.

[rei-ismyname]

EXCEPTIONAL X-MEN #3 FTA

After a pretty disappointing week of X-Men comics it's a delight to read and analyse Eve Ewing's Exceptional X-Men. The repeated issues I have with the other titles are just not present here and after three consistent bangers Ewing and co have my trust.

Emma is right

We pick up exactly where issue #2 left off, and this opening scene of all the main characters makes me realise how tightly the execution is. We know where each of them is at and (at least broadly what they want) - we're getting to know the kids organically. Where the other two books feel like action figures isolated from each other for no good reason, Kate Pryde's need to get away from the X-Men was established before the title even began. She just wants a normal life, to date girls and process her trauma. Emma Frost showing up to answer the call she refused throws her off immediately and they briefly scrap. The kids aren't just saying nothing because they didn't get a script today (hi Jubilee) - they're frozen by Emma. It's a small thing, but it's purposeful and flows elegantly.

Priti, Kate's housemate/friend from school, breaks up the fight for the most relatable reason - she doesn't want to lose the security deposit. Perhaps a sign that Kate doesn't fit into the 'norma'l world as much as she wants...or Emma just really knows how to push her buttons. I think Emma is hurting too, though she hides it under her usual scene-stealing exterior. I can't wait for more of their dynamic. Yeah, they'll almost certainly figure out a working relationship but their pain isn't being dismissed either. I feel like the pair are a successful version of what Gail Simone is doing with Rogue.

They stop fighting and have a little tea party, then Axo asks the question I'd been dreading the answer to - 'do you trust Emma or not?' Kate grew up being terrified of Emma with good reason and never let her forget why she did not trust her. Emma spent decades earning that trust and proving herself a hero, leader and teacher - but the First Krakoan Age had them grow closer than ever before. They worked well together and became friends, they were a force for good on Krakoa (mostly.) It's a shame that this is a metric, but two thumbs up for not rolling any of that back. These feel like the members of the resistance who were there for each other in Fall of X. Kate herself is regressing a little, but it's believable as a trauma response.

Kate doesn't want to train young mutants and Emma does. Prito even has a space they can use and the kids are keen! Everyone is happy then, right? Well, I think that's going to be the core tension for a while. Everyone except Kate wants this, but I think Kate needs this.

This 'getting to know you' circle does a lot of work in centering the young mutants, reminding us they're here to stay while showing us who they are and the beginning of their social dynamic. I haven't been a teen for a long time but their voices sound authentic, even to the point of highlighting that Bronze/Trista is a bit younger than the other two.

Agreed, do not read the comments.

They want to be doing this! One of the most challenging parts of being a teen is navigating peer groups. Solidarity in experiencing the same kind of otherness plus scary body changes is healthy, and it's lovely to chalk up a W despite the fact that 'people hate us.'

This issue also asks the question Rogue did in Uncanny #1, but as organic dialectic. It introduces the tension between self defense and being a superhero when you have powers - the difference between Emma and Kate externalised. Kate is excited despite herself until Emma shows up with costumes, and I think she's right to push back or at least be wary. But is this about her or the kids? It's not the most admirable contradiction but it's very human. They're both right that the old ways were flawed and they need to try something new.

Is she talking about Colossus? MF is not that gentle. Their costumes look amazing.

Unsurprisingly, Emma and Kate are a great team. There's tension underneath there, but they wouldn't be doing this if their friendship didn't run deep. New kids in relaunches past have often had their powers explained by Cerebro or a nosy telepath. Learning about it from their mouths as they're starting to use them in a controlled environment achieves the wiki entry, shows them learning to use them, and importantly gives us more of their personality.

Emma conjures up some Brood-like baddies and everyone freaks out but some growth is evident. It's Axo that figures out they're not real. Kate is not impressed. I doubt they'll throw down, but her sending the kids away feels like an extreme reaction. Good, she's got shit to say and hurts that need to be spoken. The kids don't leave, but we're left with all this tension in the air to be resolved next issue.

I LOVE that the three kids cuddle/huddle in the background.

Who better to break the ice (sorry) than Bobby Drake? Having him just fly in the window and cooling down the tension (sorry again) could feel random and silly but it works. These two have a lot of history and it makes sense that he'd seek her out. Kate has been turning her back on anyone X-related - will she freeze Bobby out too? The kids are awed by him and it's half the Marauders back together, so I don't think he'll get the cold shoulder.

I feel very confident in calling Exceptional X-Men the best X-Men book in From The Ashes. It's got an honesty and sincerity to it while remixing the hits of first arcs and adding plenty of new. The art style is colourful and emotive which adds so much to a book taking people's feelings seriously. If you pick up nothing else, this is the one.

[camerainbow]

Eddie Diaz Rant (Buddie included) *hopecore*

This is a long one but it’s pretty straightforward

I know the Buddies are upset by the finale but if we are assuming Buddie will become canon I’m kind of glad Eddie will have his support network in person when he starts to figure himself out and doesn’t have to confront how repressed he has been when in his former hometown (and away from Buck).

I think it’s a good thing to show people that you can figure out parts of yourself in your chosen home instead, I’m glad he got Chris back so that Buddie can be coparents as they’ve been set up to potentially be.

Yes the PR tour of Buddie stuff now feels like a distraction to that finale but I think it was kind of like: don’t lose hope Buddie shippers, even if it’s not now, it will happen. Grief doesn’t have to be the thing that causes you to find yourself (or realize someone is your partner who you hadn’t considered before) and it seems kinder to have Eddie figuring out himself in a later stage of grief after rebuilding his life in his ideal home: Los Angeles.

I do agree the El Paso storyline did feel like a lot for just getting Chris back but at least Eddie now knows his most supportive family is his chosen family (and Aunt Pepa as a more fitting maternal figure than what is in Texas, and someone who can step into the void Bobby’s death created within his support network). Also we got that great episode from the moving storyline of Buck supporting Eddie by subletting from him and he didn’t have to lose Chris’/his home when he sacrificed stuff to get his son. The progression of Buddie seemed stilted with the absence of Chris if I’m being honest, I’m looking forward to them in person again.

Buddie not being partners through the 118 in next season means they get to contextualize their relationship in a different way than before which is exciting(!) and I think Eddie will realize better the depth of Bucks love for him without the partner label. Also out and proud homosexual Hen being his medic partner (if we assume Chimney as Cap) will be exciting and I hope we see more of their relationship like we did in 8x17 (clearly the best episode of late S8). We might get to see more of Eddie channeling Bobby to find “another way” when presented with only two options during an emergency (though I see Chim also channeling Bobby).

I’m personally so glad we avoided the awkwardness of having to see the logistics of Eddie going back, selling that house, and Buck being asked to leave. Though yes I am mourning a sooner Buddie roommates reality :/

Once we saw the direction they were going with the El Paso storyline I kind of dreaded a rushed feelings realization if there was gonna be one in S8. I’m happy it will be explored more in depth and not be a sudden moment/cliffhanger, it feels more honest to the character. Even though it frustrates me as we grow more and more impatient. But we must remember Buck has only been canonically queer since S7, and they have only been on ABC for two seasons now. Queer slow-burn storylines when both of the characters begin their character arcs on the show as “canonically” (assumed) straight have to take longer than other slow-burns by design (for the general audience to accept).

After seeing the Buddie argument in the kitchen, I think the aftermath of Chris visiting creating the impression of it being all better would be a little too storybook. And although I didn’t really care for the regression of Buck’s feelings in this finale episode (he shut down again seeing his 118 family not heeled since he knew Eddie was leaving still), it did feel real for him to still be processing the grief and loss of his old normal.

The amount of shifting around (Chim to Captain, Eddie back but working with Hen presumably, hopefully more Buck Ravi bestie-ism) will be very interesting to watch in S9!

Most of what I’m worried about is honestly Athena’s storyline since we didn’t really see her actual thought process for selling the house, I don’t know how we will see them (her and the 118) interact in the future out side of work, we can assume they will be a family but since not every shift includes police response, will she be getting less screen time?

Let’s remain hopeful to the possibilities! I think this set up allows us to process Bobby’s death more over the hiatus and doesn’t use a queer storyline for shock value in a finale!

I totally understand anyone who steps away from the show for their own mental wellness, it’s a lot if you feel strung along, but there’s always hope as the show is not over. Be kind to yourself and don’t fall into a spiral of doom if you can help it <3

[collapsedsquid]

So anyway – the reason that this is on my mind is that a lot of people tend to assume that productivity growth (the annual change in output per worker-hour, which we economists heroically assume to be representing the limitless Whiggish march of technological progress) is in some way a mean-reverting process.  Specifically, that it reverts to a trend which, since the war, seems to correspond to roughly two per cent real GDP growth per year.  Why?  Economists tend to put it down to technological progress, but personally I think it’s more likely to be pixies. Trouble is, this productivity trend used to be a very well-established empirical fact, but then it ceased to be so.  Basically, there have always been temporary deviations from the trend associated with booms and busts in the business cycle, but the deviation in the great financial crisis in 2008 never got mean-reverted.  Instead – well, look at this chart, which also shows the expectation of the consensus of mainstream economic thought, as summarised by the Office of Budget Responsibility, that the mean reversion imps would come along to do their stuff.

Something has gone on here, it would appear.  Getting into questions of policy and structure is definitely beyond the scope of this post, so let’s presume for the moment I’m right and the problem with the series is simply a lack of activity on the part of the relevant supernatural woodland spirits.  There’s basically three possibilities: 1)        This is the new normal, we’ve mortally offended the pixies and the new trend rate of productivity growth is much lower forever. 2)        We just had a run of bad luck with the pixies; there’s no particular reason to believe that they won’t come back really soon and we’ll go back to the good old 2% a year. 3)        Same as 2), but when the pixies come back, they will realise that they’ve been slacking on the job and we’ll have to have a period of higher growth to get us back to the trend. You can tell various stories with more economic content to them obviously, but I think it’s important to be clear here that the really optimistic 3) is not at all something you can rule out as nonsense.  If a country has, for one reason or another, fallen a long way behind the maximally efficient frontier, then it’s perfectly reasonable to expect a period of “catch-up” growth, as there is more low-hanging fruit around in the form of good investments which should have been made but weren’t.  This matters to me because I think it’s quite likely that our Chancellor believes in mean reversion pixies.  Partly because, as I say, the theory of productivity as a trend-reverting process is quite orthodox (for the heads, it’s known as “the unit root debate”, for even more annoying historical reasons that don’t tell you anything at all about the problem than “regression to the mean”).  If one takes Napoleon’s maxim seriously that to understand someone’s worldview you need to think about what the world was like when they were in their early twenties, then this was, I think, the house view of Former Bank of England Economists at the start of the century.

Sometimes my post is just an inadvertent rip off post of a post someone else made that I read but partially forgot about, oops

[twoheadedsam]

u understand roman so well what r some off ur hc about this siblings and their eds

Hi! That's so sweet of you thank you so much! This is gonna be a bit disorganized but I'll try my best.

With Roman, as I've mentioned a lot, there's a discomfort with the body that I think is at the source of it. One component is Roman's regressive tendencies: you can often see it in his body language and voice, in the way he shrinks into himself, especially when he's uncomfortable (in some scenes it was acknowledged by Kieran: 'For whatever reason, in character, I feel like I'm seven with [Brian]'). From this, I think there could be a fear of his body changing and growing. Of the siblings, I also see him as most blatantly disgusted by the idea of food itself -- I connect it to the way Logan is repulsed by his body's needs and weaknesses. Then there's the gender question (@oreganosbaby discusses this better than me!), which is the possibility of reading Roman as a trans woman: in this case another layer to Roman's wish to be small would be to have control over her body's shape as best as she can in her current situation, for one. Then, there's the fact that, imo, she would want to be a 'normal', girlish girl, which unfortunately we all know what includes. (I'm being brief here because it would be a huge tangent, hopefully I don't need to explain it further).

With Shiv, I always think about this mirror traps quote (check out the work if you haven't already!) :

But then Roman didn’t get it either, did he. All he wanted was to disappear. Shiv wanted to be perfect. 

I think with Shiv the competitive aspect is really strong: a lot of counting calories and seeing how far she can go, proving that she can do it. The aspect of exerting control over her body (which of course is not divorced from social roles and expectations, including gendered ones) and her needs is still here but I think she feels empowered when she denies herself, more so than relieved. This may possibly lead to periods of her life in which she's less stressed lessening her need to compete.

With Kendall, I see it as orthorexia, instrumental in the same way that his drug use is (I think people characterize it as way more randomic than it actually is: a lot of his cocaine use happens when he needs to perform -- which is not to say that he 'has control' over his addiction, but that there's an internal logic to his choices). He sees it as keeping his body in shape and perfectly functional. I don't think it's completely separate from the rejection of needs and the need for control that Logan and Shiv also show, but the way in which mainly manifests is the closest to orthorexia (imo). I could see him cutting, but it wouldn't be the norm for him, just as his intentionally self-destructive moments aren't as frequent as the ones during which he exhibits behaviors many would consider dysfunctional, which he doesn't see as problematic. Two scenes from the scripts stand out: this one, which although given less emphasis in the actual episode, may inform the performances and direction of the scene;

then there's this, which was fully cut, but I feel it's fair to include it.

While these are my thoughts on the characters, I like seeing how other people interpret them! The reason Succ makes for a great object of fandom is how it allows you to look at these characters during a specific window of time and, while they clearly have a past and rich internal worlds, you're not allowed to see the absolute, plain truth in either of them. It creates room for both varied interpretations and a variety of what-ifs, both very interesting to me.

If you're interested in an interpretation of Roman's ED that is different from mine (detailed, very very well written), I must recommend this mess we're in. While I described more subconscious and symbolic ideas, this fic explores both the practical aspects and the immediate thought processes that are part of the disorder, and it's a great character study of both Stewy and Roman in general.

[dandelion-system]

I don’t know if there’s any science behind this, but at least personally I feel like I’m only just now hitting a lot of developmental milestones, and I’m only able to do that because of regression.

I spent so long just trying to survive mentally that I didn’t even have the time to consider the things a normal kid would be developing. I excelled at academics and fine motor skills, because learning and crafting was a means of escape for me.

But my balance, my strength, my emotional processing, sensory processing, all around everything has just been lacking. Notably, I’m most comfortable socially when I’m either heavily masking, or regressed. Being regressed is the only way I can be myself and process things without going into shutdown.

And things like my balance, I’ve always just been ‘the clumsy one’ because my spatial awareness and balance just… suck. The way a small child’s does. Because they’re still getting used to their body. And I feel like I’m only just getting used to our body. And it’s so frustrating, because I’m academically quite bright, and I talk well, people treat me like I’m an adult and I understand the adult concepts around bodies. But I don’t. I can understand factually what happens when someone exercises and the different types of reactions in a body, but I can’t apply it to myself unless one of the caregivers in the system explains it kinda dumbed down. Like, “when you lift weights, it makes tiny little tears in the muscle, like a wall with some cracks. So, when it heals, it heals stronger, which is like reinforcing the wall!”

I’m only just learning to balance. We’re 19, and after overhearing something, we finally figured it out. How to shift our weight and balance and move around. Because someone explained it like a line you needed to keep in the centre of your “body bubble”, like a horse on a carousel. Or like how when you balance a spoon, you have to hold it closer to the round part because it’s heavier.

And oh my god, I’m so happy! We can dance! Actually, properly dance! Not just sort of sway in one spot and wave our arms around, but hop from foot to the other, spin, jump, bend, all of it! But it’s taken so long.

I guess, I just feel a little cheated. Not only did I not get a chance to have a normal childhood emotionally, it’s stunted me to the point where I either have to live with a lack of skill and ability, or face the social repercussions of doing something that’s just… not very well known or accepted.

[kiankiwi]

hi, reid from @bellanotchewrites here!! i absolutely love your COH au!!

i think a lot of people think regression is all cutesy and perfect. while, yes, it can be those things (!) it’s also important to acknowledge that at its center, age regression is a coping skill. it’s something people do to COPE with the things they are going through.

a lot of people (especially including those within online agere spaces) don’t like looking at the “icky” aspects of “impure” regression. it’s almost like if your experience isn’t picture-perfect, it’s not valid. and that notion is upsetting!

the truth is, littles come in all shapes, forms and sizes. some like plushies and pacis, some don’t! some like wearing onesies, others prefer “adult” clothes. some like wearing diapers for the comfort they provide, others wear them out of necessity. for some kiddos, they cry and scream and let their emotions out when they’re little. for others, they feel incredibly happy and safe!

no matter how you spin it, all of us are valid.

(TLDR) my point is: your COH au touches on all the parts of agere that people try to shun from their own community. you are normalizing the more extreme aspects of trauma responses and “impure” agere, and i think that’s wonderful.

keep doing what you’re doing, because you are making a positive impact, especially on me :,))

-lots of love, reid xx

Thank you so much for bringing this up because YES I use age regression as a coping mechanism too and it is not all rainbows and glitter all the time yknow. It's a way to process things that hurt... what you've said as well people need to realize is real too.

Thank you to @arianatheangel-girl too for helping me come up with this AU and constantly sending me requests to keep me writing about the COH AU...

Thank you for bringing this up though more people need to understand that agere isn't always fun. It's more about safety and feeling loved. Not being cutesy and uwu :)

:) thank you for sending this to me <3

I love your blog by the way

[vtori73]

A lot of things I have issues with that go unquestioned and accepted in the LGBTQIA+ community that just very much demonstrate how much the community is stuck in binary thinking:

1. being how people think labeling relationships based on the gender of the people in them makes any sense at all (lesbian/gay relationship regardless of the sexuality of the people in them) and isn't just super regressive and reinforces erasing identities of people who do/don't conform to binary gender presentation. And no, sorry but no amount of "we are just using them as umbrella terms," works here. The LG community has shown time and time again it only likes to use LG as umbrella terms when they want to which is usually when they want to erase sexuality and even gender that falls outside of the binary and if anyone who isn't LG tries using them as such they are dogpiled, bullied and harassed being told/forced to choose a side.

2. This is sort of a secondary effect of the above but this need/desire to label relationship in binary terms leads to weird situations and probably also dangerous situation in which queerness and non-queerness is thrown into people dependent of the gender of the individuals and shunning of those who appear peri allo cishetero on the outside AND their partners. A big example being the whole "leave your straight boyfriends at home," discourse that was going on during pride month. Sorry, but assumptions like that will more likely than not put people in danger, it makes possible queer people who are in the closet or "look" binary feel unwelcome and unsafe to attend sake with partners of queer people who would possibly be queer but due to their gender presentation are assumed peri allo cis hetero. There is no way to have exclusive queer events without excluding queer people in the process, and look, it's fine to occasionally want events that are for a specific demographic of people it's when the need to exclude people from these that it starts to becomes messy. And look, it fair want to exclude certain demographics like peri allo cis hetero men BUT the problem is no one ever is, their goals are normally never to exclude specifically these men and if they were they would and should say so but instead also want to exclude groups they have problems with (bigotry). Like lesbian groups excluding bi woman due to potentially finding men attractive/dating them or trans woman due to their genitals/agab. One thing also is some of this stuff very much depends on the (assumed) gender of the person, bi woman only ever are accused/believed of dating cis hetero men so any couple the looks m/f is very often going to be assumed by binary gay/lesbians of being a "woman" who is bi and a "man" who is straight allo peri cis man and not literally any other possibility. Biness is deflated in these situations due to binary thinking but also biphobia and sexism (bimisogyny) bi woman bear the brunt of the bigotry. Biphobia and gender binarism is also why the man is always assumed straight and not possibly queer in any other capacity in these situations even though he could very well be the queer one in the relationship.

Also, if you're truly trying to make some public places a safe space for queer people you can't exclude their partners. How do you make an actual space safe for queer people if you're going to exclude parts of them, like their partners. And, yes, do think the argument of "well, we don't want bigots at pride," is a foolish one because it not only assumes the worst of the bi woman (sorry but bi women are queer first off, why would they want to date a queerphobe? Also if they are, they are most likely not coming to pride because they will more likely than not be closeted or possibly even in abusive relationships that by definition of how they work keep them from going out, I mean we DO have the highest rates of ipv) but is also such a WEIRD take considering how much queerphobia & bigotry there is within the community itself. You have transphobic biphobic LG people, racist white queers, aphobes, misogynistic queers, ableists, etc yet they are fine to attend pride!

Also also, a lot of misogyny is at play, let's be honest. If there are queer men who show up with a straight cis woman as a partner no one would tell her to leave or that she shouldn't because she is straight and its because they don't see her as threatening, she is JUST a woman and many people will admit this openly and honestly as if it's not misogynistic to believe. One thing also is this kind of discussion also tends to revolve around white people/whiteness and I wouldn't be surprised at all if black people in general feel unwelcomed in these places and are treated differently due to it. Like I wouldn't be surprised if a straight black woman would be seen as a possible threat versus a white woman due to racism and white supremacy. White women are seen as needing protection not as violent even though we have seen time and time again how that is not true they are just coddled and protected by whiteness/white men. It makes so much sense considering straight women get no such flack at all in these discussions, even ones that make more sense like unicorn hunters whose main targets are bi woman and who are usually lured in by straight women pretending to be bi or queer/questioning for their boyfriend yet somehow we bi people are accused of being the predators and not the straight people. "But they aren't straight if they want to be with a woman," FUCK off, you do know sometimes sex can just be sex? With no actual attraction for the other person? I mean, straight cis men have sex with people they don't find attractive all the time so... what exactly is stopping people of different genders? Also, plenty of people are willing to do a lot of things to titillate their partner.

[venusgirl204]

I just watched the movie "Prom Pact" and it's now that I realize that there are girls who haven't lived their teenage lives. They spent half working like crazy, forgetting themselves to satisfy parents who weren't even present in the most difficult moments of their lives and the other half getting upset over affairs of the heart. because they tried to fill this void of unhappiness and in the end they ended up with a mental health lower than the earth, a broken heart and a lost brain because the latter had decreed that in the absence of the love of one of the parents (for my part of the father) these people would be their lifeline; their inking. I'm one of those girls. I stopped living altogether and I only realize it now. I'm 19 and I have no idea what to do with my life. I lived my whole life in order to satisfy those around me by being the perfect model girl who made no mistakes that I ended up no longer knowing who I really was. I was the best in my class, adored by the teachers and now, in the first year of college, I'm no longer able to achieve anything, I don't feel happy; Quite simply, I don't recognize myself, I have a series of defeats, I'm exhausted even though I haven't even finished the year, I would like to give up but that's not how it works. I am a woman of color I am forced to do twice as much to prove my worth especially in a country with patriarchal ideologies and cultures. I would like to leave this country but where I go my skin will not change; It's not that I'm not proud of my origins but I don't agree with his thoughts. Sometimes we want to go far, very far; in a place where we could express ourselves without fear, a place where people won't give you looks because we don't follow what others are doing or wearing. I know very well that life is not all beautiful and rosy but sometimes we suffocate. here we want to keep our cultures but yet we have forgotten everything about our past and we have become so closed-minded, especially in everything that affects women. we can no longer wear what we want without it directly seeming provocative, we apparently do no honor to our dear country; we cannot express ourselves as we wish if we do so either we are contemptuous or insolent; we are forced to put a label on ourselves that does not suit us. I'm tired of seeing that until today many things affecting women have not evolved and have completely regressed but I know that complaining is not the solution but oh how much I would like to scream , let out that anger and be heard or take your clicks and clacks and finally leave and be yourself; but if we don't start now at the root itself elsewhere it won't work. we have to get back to our lives now, right here. Getting it into your head that in another country things will change is false; change must first start with yourself. Lately I've been thinking a lot about how I live my life, thinking about how I let my emotions dictate my choices, how I lived in denial just out of fear of feeling rejected because I didn't. I wasn't what people would like me to be and I don't want to be this girl anymore! I don't like this girl I see in the mirror; It's not me, it's not you! Take back control of your life and as for your studies or jobs, if this year it doesn't work out ok it's not the end of the world you will evolve at your own pace. It's normal to fail, it's part of the process, we have to accept it and stop stressing and worrying.

and above all don't forget, raise your head, princess, your crown could fall :)

[dirtytransmasc]

Vance Hopper (mostly) Autism HC's

I do want to preface, I have a lot of comorbid disorders/mental health issues/etc. so this is solely based on my experience with autism.

nonverbal, talking is just sound to him, 90% of his communication when he isn't masked is touch or sounds.

Griffin is his favorite person, Bruce is his safe person, Finney is his care person (he goes to Finney when he's really non verbal and needs to communicate something quickly, Finney being the mom of the group is really good at helping him get his point across). robin and Billy are the ones he fucks around with (rough houses, starts shit with, stuff like that)

zero, absolutely zero personal space, he needs constant touch and pressure to stay sane. he likes to hold onto one person and be held by another, while being squeezed between two things (people, coach arms, pillows, etc.)

^^^he's only like this with people he trusts otherwise he is completely touch adverse. it causes full on meltdowns to be touched, and he's not the best at hiding it.

he gets really angry when he has meltdowns, but it quickly turns to tears and grabby hands. once he burns through the anger it turns into a full break down.

he definitely regresses when upset, not to the point of like age regression per say, but he kinda shutdowns and is very codependent.

he stims a lot, it's mostly skin picking, rocking, squeezing things, grinding his teeth and punching things. he listens to really loud music to decompress (I can't help but think he would have lived Motley Crue had he been around to hear it. he would love that one part of Kickstsrt My Heart with the weird voice affect). sweet is a comfort band.

Finney is the best at redirecting his more harmful stims, normally offering to hold his hand or giving him something to pick at.

he has an oral fixation, and chews on his hair and sleeves. he used to chew his nails but sorta grew out of it. he will chew them down to the bone if he's anxious though

all the boys carry gum on them just in case. he really likes cinnamon gum.

he loves cinnamon in general, he loves the smell, the taste, spicy and sweet.

he only wears second hand denim, breaking it in is literally one of the worst things on earth, he would rather die.

he really likes when people play with his hair, especially when robin (I hc he has a big family so he knows how to braid) braids his hair and runs his fingers through it and scratches at his scalp during the process

he has really bad cute aggression, like Griffin is constantly being tackled, squeezed, pinched, punched (playfully, even if he accidentally punches him kinda hard), etc. Vance absolutely loves him and shows it in his own way. Griffin is very aware of this, and is fine with the rough love

when he hyperfixates, it's long and steady, normally he'll have the same one for years at a time. currently it's Sweet and pinball.

he's dyslexic, but he really enjoys learning when it's done in a way that works for his brain. he had an English Lit tutor one year that made him love reading for the first time in years, you could not get him to put his books (he reads wide print copies) down. it's hard to get wide print books so he reads the same few books over and over again.

^^^ Gwen huts me as someone who's really good at typing and I could definitely see her rewriting books for Vance for his birthday or Christmas.

^^^ Gwen and Vance are besties, fight with the wall.

Vance is a huge animal person, they really help with keeping him calm and managing his anger. he's been known to rehabilitate anything from little mice to baby birds to helping out on local farms to nurse orphaned calf's. he had a shit ton of 'pets' or animals he raised as baby's and tried to release but they never really left. he also has a dog, a rescue mutt, he's a big dog and Vance will bury himself in his fur when really upset. he definitely takes care of the towns stray cats as well. his first job is at an animal shelter, and it was one of his few safe spaces.

he has really bad contamination OCD

he's not the best with social ques so a lot of his rude demeanor is him just not knowing the 'correct' or 'polite' way to go about something.

he uses he/him pronouns for the most part, but isn't against any of the other ones (he has an interesting relationship with she/her pronouns and he can't tell if he loves it or hates it)

he's queer, his feelings are too complex and at the end of the day he doesn't care enough to try and label himself.

^^^ he generally has a disconnect between himself and his queer identity (something I relate to, I don't know how I feel about autistic specific identities, and I don't feel like debating about it, but my autism definitely has an effect in my queer identity in a way I can't fully verbalize and I think he feels the same way)

I could do so many more of these.

[gamerbearmira]

Had an idea for a varient of the de-aged Mira stuff:

Isabela asks the Candle to help her get out of marrying Mariano, so around the time of the movies events (like, a few days/a week before Antonio's 5th b-day?) she wakes up as a 4 year old.

She reacts badly to this, both bc she's legitimately freaking out and bc being in a toddlers body makes it harder to reign in her emotions, and bc of this by the time she's calmed down, her whole family thinks she's mentally regressed. Thankfully she can't use her gift like this, or else who knows what dangerous plants would have been sprouted everywhere while she was crying.

When she calms down, Isa is surprised to find that Mirabel is holding her and rocking her and comforting her, while the rest of the family is kinda watching and trying to figure out what happened. Mira has heard Isa freaking out when she did her whole wakeup call thing, and Isa latched onto her when she came into her room to see what was wrong.

When Isa realizes that noone knows she's not mentally four, she plays along to get a chance to not have to be 'Senorita Perfecta' for a while, and to use the time to figure out how to get out of marrying Mariano.

Mirabel volunteers to watch Isa for a few hours, until their parents are able to take her, but Abuela steamrolls that in favor of Mira being in charge of Isa until she's back to normal.

Neither sister is thrilled about this, but Isa has no way to protest without letting everyone know she's still mentally herself, and Mira is thoroughly weirded out by the whole situation.

Being buddy-ed with Mira for a week really opens up Isas eyes to how Mirabel doesn't have it easy.

She always quietly envied Mira for not having the spotlight on her, and part of her resentment came from Mira constantly trying to help. Isa wished she could hide in the shadows, could just do whatever she wanted without anyone noticing or caring, and Mira has that, but couldn't stop trying to jump into the light.

Isa has no idea how lonely it was to be ignored.

Thanks to being in a four year olds body, all of Isa's adult emotions are easily overwhelming, so she only makes it three, maybe four days, before she breaks down to Mira, spilling that she remembers everything, and she's sorry that she's been such a terrible sister.

She also ends up crying about all the pressure she feels to be perfect and not wanting to get married and basically Mirabel gets 21 years of emotional baggage and pent up frustration trauma dumped on her by her sobbing 4yo big sister.

Now, Mirabel had started to suspect that Is a remembered a little more that she was letting on, and had started to pick up on the way Abuelas focus had been wearing on Isa, but she was not prepared for...that.

So she just holds Isa while she lets it all out. Eventually Isa falls asleep on her, so Mira gets extra time to process everything she learned and piece it together with her own experiences and issues and comes to the same conclusion she does in the movie; both her and Isa had a lot more going on than either of them knew, and if anyone in their damn family was able to communicate properly, they'd all be much happier.

I haven't thought of how this will effect the events of the movie, or how Isa gets back to normal.

I have no coherent way to end this

~🍄

I like it, it is very good 👁👁 To be honest, everything looks great, I really do this it’s cool :))) Not surprised Isabela broke down to Mirabel of all people. After seeing how everyone really views her and all that, she feels like she can kind of relate to her in a cruel way so. I can see why she trusted her enough to spill. I also can not think of a way to end it, I suck at ending things <\\\333

Also if it’s a variant then. All I can think of is Isabela falling asleep next to Mirabel and waking up to a baby version fo her. Just four year old Isa insisting on always holding Mirabel practically dragging her around, trying to figure out how to fix the family and make them happy again. The sisters…what will they do, what chaos with the create…

Sad how since Isabela doesn’t have her gift and isn’t, or rather won’t, play into the Senorita Perfecta part, she stopped paying attention to her. Tragic 😕

[paper--moons]

Regressor!Ragh Barkrock Headcanons

(with cg!Gorgug and cg!Zelda)

Needless to say after the events of the Prompocalypse, there is a lot for everybody to work through. But before all of that even, Ragh already is having a lot to work through. There's so much about himself that he was repressing in order to fit into what others wanted or expected him to be, to fit into a safe little box that wasn't reflective of his true self. It was so much easier to be the bully than to admit certain things about himself. Sessions with Jawbone help him to come to terms with a few major aspects of who he is. During their sessions they tackle the fact that he's been denying his feelings about Dayne, that he'd been denying the fact itself that he was gay. They also start working through how his mom's health has been bearing down on him since he was a little kid, how he still sometimes feels like that scared little kid who worries about his mom, and by extension Jawbone recommends that Ragh might benefit from trying age regression. There's some trial and error, but sometime between prom and the next school year he figures out he falls somewhere around 7 or 8. By the time summer is over, he's not only opened up about his sexuality and has become proud of who he is, but he's got another thing to open up about still: his regression.

It's Gorgug that he tells first, naturally. They are the closest, after all. Or not so much as tells him with words, but rather it just sort of happens when he is first sorting through everything with Jawbone and giving the whole regression thing a go. They just kind of fall into a regressor and cg dynamic without even meaning to once they start hanging out after defeating Kalvaxus. Ragh doesn't even notice that he middlespaces around Gorgug so much, thinking he's just feeling really relaxed now that he has friends that accept him. In fact it's Zelda that points out how Ragh will sometimes drop his guard so heavily around Gorgug, that he loses his edge and looks at the other boy as if he's hung the moon. Gorgug, ever oblivious, never really noticed—though that didn't apparently stop him from responding in kind, softening his voice and treating him more gently than he normally would. He's always been an only child, but it's clear that he's got the makings of big brother material.

Once Ragh sort of works out that he has been middlespacing with Gorgug, he makes the next step (at Jawbone's suggestion) to ask if Gorgug would like to be his cg. Only if he wants though, was it weird to ask? Maybe he should forget it, it was dumb, right? Yeah, don't worry about it! Despite wanting to include him in this and being told that it can be beneficial to share parts of ourselves with the people we love and trust, Ragh still has a lot of issues with rejection—specifically the fear of rejection—to work through. It's all part of an ongoing healing process! So imagine his surprise when Gorgug says okay, agrees like it's the most natural thing in the world and that Ragh didn't just make himself incredibly vulnerable. It's so different than how things were before with Dayne, when any hint of vulnerability would be used against him; the idea that such vulnerability can be rewarded is still foreign to him, but that doesn't stop the spread of the grin on his face as Gorgug suggests they go get some ice-cream, a grin that only brightens as he takes his hand to lead the way.

Visits to Basrar's Soda Fountain kind of become a staple of Ragh's regression. While it's a typical hang-out spot for the Bad Kids, Gorgug winds up taking Ragh there once a week—usually going after bloodrush practice on Thursdays when all the rough-housing has inevitably brought out that rambunctious little kid he's got hiding away. Sometimes Zelda meets them there, if only to see the absolute mountain of ice-cream Ragh is about to scarf down with only the true gusto a child can manage. His order is always the same too: rocky road with extra marshmallows, topped with lots of cherries and whipped cream. The majority of it does tend to make it into his stomach on most occasions, but usually Zelda and Gorgug wind up having to wipe his face a bit to free him of the dreaded ice-cream mustache. Not to mention his hands, which are sticky with the drying cold-confection. Ragh might be a big boy but he's still a messy eater, and he's small enough that he doesn't realize he'll make everything else sticky if they don't clean him up. But so long as they get to go play on the park swings afterwards, he doesn't put up too much of a fuss about getting cleaned up.

On the off chance that Gorgug is busy, Ragh finds himself slipping around Zelda. The time they spend together is always very chill, and usually involves the two of them laying in the grass as they watch the clouds, listening to her music with an earbud between them. To anyone else her musical preferences might not seem the most calming for a kid, but for Ragh the thrasher metal is so irrevocably Zelda that it has that effect on him. Nothing bad is going to happen to him as long as he's with her, and the music is just another reminder of her presence. Plus, it certainly doesn't hurt that he's an energetic kid and this is some pretty energetic music. Ragh asks her questions about what they are listening to that day, what songs are her favorites, stuff like that. Later on he'll get Gorgug to help him burn a special CD for her, being sure to decorate a sleeve to put it in. It's a fun arts and crafts project for him and a gift for her, so it's a win-win!

The trip they take for spring break—or rather the adventure they go on—is a lot of excitement for the little guy. They get to go to a floating pirate city! Time in the Hangvan is filled with a lot less "are we there yet"s than anticipated, as the novelty of a van that can transform into a boat and talk doesn't wear off so quickly when you're seven years old. Especially when that van has magic on it that makes little rooms in the back for them. Despite how cool and exciting everything is however, the adventure is still scary at times and can take a lot out of him when he starts fraying at the edges so to speak. The stuff with his mom does not help this, and so whenever the group does get to rest it isn't uncommon to find him practically latched to Gorgug's side. More often than not they wind up falling asleep with Ragh snuggled up to his side with Gorgug's arm slung around him protectively.

And while Gorgug is busy trying to call Zelda, Ragh is busy with his own little task. He may not be able to help with the calling thing much, but he does think it might be nice to bring her something back. He's the type of kid that is all about the "I found this cool shell/rock/etc. and I thought you'd like it" lifestyle. Wherever it is they go, he's always picking up something to add to the small bag he bought back before they left for this exact purpose—nobody even notices him doing it, and nobody really questions why he's got a little satchel filled with seemingly random items. As far as they are concerned, that's just Ragh being Ragh. Once they get back he's sure to give it to her, and gets Gorgug to help him tell the story behind each of the little "treasures" he brought back for her. It was their adventure, but he wants all three of them to be able to share a piece of it!

[yellowocaballero]

With any of your MK fics, 21. 22 and 23? also 26 and 41? 49 if u want :3

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in [insert fic], what would it be?

Part of the joy but part of the frustration of 'listen to your heart' was how completely, unbelievably limited the POV was in the second half especially. Jake never once really understood what was going through Layla's mind, Marc was SUPER out of it, and Steven wasn't really checked in either. I had to allude to a LOT, and there's lots of stuff in my mind that I just couldn't show. I alluded to the Layla vs. Frenchie pvp - which, I can't stress enough, was insanely funny - but couldn't actually show it, I alluded to Layla and Frenchie's whole struggle arcs but couldn't really show those either, and I even had Steven allude to things that happened that he wasn't really processing.

I established that Marc felt unsafe in 'Layla's house', and that the space that he co-opted as his own was the master bathroom in the bedroom he already didn't like Layla going in. I referenced in a few lines that Marc forgot where he was, Layla tried to go inside the bathroom, and that it really pissed off the normally unflappable Steven. Few paragraphs later I allude to "Marc's Screamy Time", and that's all you really have to guess what happened.

It doesn't...ADD anything to the story to stop and show a guy having an age-regressing flashback, and then when the person he's already afraid of enters the place he took as the safe space he had a violent panic attack. It adds something to allude that it happened, but actually depicting it just felt voyeuristic. And Steven wouldn't stop to remember. Still, so many good scenes that I would like to go back and write one day, but didn't have the need!

22. Who is your favorite character in [insert fic] and why?

Almost all my MK stuff...yeah, Jake. Lmfao. So much fun. SO much fun. I could just OC him, so I could just make him into the kind of character I liked writing best - all bluff & bluster & bad coping mechanisms & defensiveness. He's just easy to write and there's just so much to go into there. And if you have a really good Jake then the rest of the story just really clicks. He feels pre-requisite to having a good Marc, and a good Marc is an important counterpoint to a good Steven. If one of these things are limp then writing the system just deflates like an old balloon. Give them unique dynamics - they should all have different dynamics and points of contention! I see people writing Jake as basically treating Marc & Steven equally, and Marc caring about Jake & Steven equally, and you're losing out on a lot of potential depth if you do that. Besides Jake, In listen to your heart Steven was absolutely INCREDIBLY fun to write, and a big challenge as a writer. The challenging characters are frequently the funnest!

23. Answered!

26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?

It's a well known fact that if I finish a fic, and I'm at the stage where I hate it, I will angrily yell "IT'S ALL FUCKING DIALOGUE!". My worst shit is when it's all dialogue lol. But yeah that means I'd go with 100% dialogue every time lol I'm no good without it.

41. Answered!

49. Uh. A very, very stupid fic. A very stupid fic. A very -

NSFW text

[marcellus-nile-born]

Let’s talk about past lives!

It has a lot to do with reincarnation, and the Wikipedia definition for that is:

“Reincarnation, also known as rebirth or transmigration, is the philosophical or religious concept that the non-physical essence of a living being begins a new life in a different physical form or body after biological death.[1][2] Resurrection is a similar process hypothesized by some religions, in which a soul comes back to life in the same body. In most beliefs involving reincarnation, the soul is seen as immortal and the only thing that becomes perishable is the body. Upon death, the soul becomes transmigrated into a new infant (or animal) to live again. The term transmigration means passing of soul from one body to another after death.”

With that being said I subscribe to a belief that we are put here and reincarnated until we learn the lessons we are meant to. We sign a soul contract when we enter into this plane of existence. That contract holds all of the things you must learn over your lives. That is my personal beliefs though and I don’t expect everyone to follow the same beliefs.

I’ve learned I have many past lives, I’ve figured this out through visions I get (I’ll give examples) or past life regression sessions.

An example of a vision of one of my past lives is: I was at work in an automotive parts manufacturing plant. The job I was working required me to take a stack of parts and place them in industrial bins. I walked back from a bin and to my station to grab some parts. I grabbed the parts differently than I normally would.

I grabbed the parts as if they were some kind of rifle in my hands. As I did so I was walking to the bin to pack them away. Before I reached the bin everything around me went black. I wasn’t carrying parts, but I was carrying a rifle with a bayonet on the end. The area around me began to come into light as I noticed where I was.

I was on the battlefield, I was in a green (not camouflage) outfit. The air around me was thin and cold. I felt the brisk cool air on my face as the smell of gunpowder and iron filled my nose. The next thing I know there was a grenade that went off not too far from me and one of my platoon members. As my hearing was shot and vision starting to unhaze, my friend was shot in the shoulder, hip, and chest. He was bleeding out.

Everything began to the fade back to black and I was back in the automotive plant. That was wild because it was my first ever random vision of a past life.

Since that experience in roughly 2020 I have come to know 2 other people who share that same past life.

On my journey into witchcraft I’ve been able to make countless mojo bags, spells, mirror magic, ect for past life regression. I’ve only recently been able to enchant a key that I’ve had for quite some time to be able to access my past lives.

The key works like when you are meditating with the key, you will be transported to a room filled with doors. Each door is the door to your past lives. Choose a door, put the key in, and go learn about your past lives.

I’ve come to know that in my past lives I’ve been:

A Viking worrier

I remember looking around and being on a boat, shield and sword at my feet as we collectively rowed on from Scandinavia. My skin was littered with scars, but my heart was filled with honor

Native American child

My tribe stayed along the river sides, it was easy access. Me and my sister were creative and crafty alike, our parents were medicine people of the tribe. Anyone who needed healing were brought before. One day our tribe was completely ransacked, all of my people where killed by the colonizers. My sister and I were both drowned.

Medicine man/ healer

I’m not entirely sure the the time era, or region this past life was ini get a very strong Australia feeling from it, but I had brown skin like the rest of the people in my small village. I stayed in a Hut on the outskirts of the village. The surrounds were dry and desolate as me lived potentially cliff side. I remember on countless occasions mixing different slaves, herbal remedies, wet mixtures, rituals, ect. For the village people. I had a rather large almost black staff with 2 or 3 rattles made from dried bulb like fruit. I remember my body covered in white paint markings, and I would generally just wear a make shift brown/tan shreds of cloth

Soldier

I’m not entirely sure what my initial role was, but I was on the battle field near 6 or 7 people. The enemy threw a grenade, the people around me where blown back as the dirt around me was thrown violently into the air. My vision blurred and my hearing went out. When my vision focused one of my platoon members was in front of me and had sustained 3 bullet wounds. He bled out in front of me.

Those are the main past lives I remember. These have come to me in visions, past life regressions, or dreams. But every last one of them were as real as you and I. Down to feeling of the beads of sweat running down my face, or smell of brisk autumn air.

I will make a future post on what can be done for past life regression. I hope you enjoy my past life’s stories I’ve accumulated thus far!

#witchcraft #witchcraft blog #witchblr #witches of

tumblr #witch community #witch blog #witch

#high priest #phoenix fire coven #eclectic witch

#lunar witch #witchy vibes #witchcore #necromantic witch #pagan witch

#witchythings #witchy #Anubis #God

#coven #ritual #lgbt pagans #pagan #pagan

rituals #ecletic pagan #personal vent #my grimoire

[computerfrog2000]

So as an update to this post by @whalesharkpasta :

I wanted to do an updated version for myself after thinking more about my autism symptoms and recent-ish regression/burn out I’ve experienced.

So when it comes to how strangers perceive me in public, it mostly depends on how overwhelmed or stressed I am. If someone is casually observing me I can either just appear fidgety and aloof, or I can be ticcing, moving unusually, and unaware of my surroundings where I’m running into things and other people.

Now when I actually interact with a stranger that’s a different story. All focus goes to just being able to say what I need. This will involve stuttering, completely forgetting words and how tone works, and long pauses to get my thoughts together. And with fidgeting and little to no eye contact. I think most people realize there’s something up with me at this point. Luckily most of the time they are patient and kind.

I am constantly moving my body repetitively and “weirdly” and rarely notice that I’m doing it. Most of the time I think it’s funny that I do this and my boyfriends poke fun at me at how I do things and maneuver around. Other times it can be problematic where my tics can’t be controlled or I run into things/other people. I often have bruises of unknown origin from banging into things and not feeling it.

My meltdowns often can lead me to banging my head or even trying to run away. Meltdowns usually lead to shutdowns afterwards, or shutdowns happen on their own. Shutdowns can and often do make me go catatonic and unable to speak. This can last anywhere from like 20 minutes to a couple hours.

I was in general education and got speech therapy and was in “social skills” groups in elementary school. I definitely should have gotten occupational therapy for my sensory processing and motor skill issues. I luckily am getting that now at the age of 24… I was not diagnosed with anything when I was a kid due to weird reasons like my parents and pediatrician not wanting to label me with anything. Plus my mom having sexist views on girls having autism. Even though she is a speech therapist. She actually was my speech therapist at my school since she worked there.

When it comes to my language, I completely understand what others are saying for the most part, except for auditory processing stuff, once I know what words they’re saying I do understand. I struggle with expressive language most of the time to some extent. When I am not overwhelmed I sound pretty “normal” with good tone, though I still have frequent pauses because I don’t think in words. I think in images, feelings, abstract concepts, vibes, etc. Before I speak or write/type I have to translate my thoughts to actual words. This happens faster or slower depending how I’m feeling. I often forget words, several times a day. I remember the feeling of the word, and that it exists for the context of what I’m saying. (Though there have been times where I think a word exists when it actually doesn’t)

When I get overwhelmed I can lose all tone and rhythm to my speech. I pause after every couple of words for several seconds. Sometimes I give up and go to using gestures or typing. I’ve been considering using symbol based AAC during these times, I just would need to get that set up and find a decent app for it. Plus get over my internalized ableism and embarrassment associated with it.

I used to be a lot more functional than this. Most people wouldn’t think that I was autistic in middle and high school. Even from ages 18 to 21 ish. But I started regressing for various reasons. Especially in the past year or so. Thankfully I think the regression has stabilized at this point.

I was finally diagnosed with autism sometime last year by my neuro-psychiatrist. I’m wanting to get a full psychological assessment to fully determine my level of support needs and what sort of support I would benefit from. But finding providers who assess adults and take Medicaid is nearly impossible.

Looking at this guide, which shouldn’t be viewed as an actual diagnostic tool, it can be helpful in understanding yourself and give thought to what to bring up with your doctors. Discussions with my loved ones and therapist/doctors has led to thoughts on what my level could be. Me and my boyfriends half jokingly say I’m level 1.5

It’s hard to say without getting fully assessed. I know that I require support, and it seems like I require more support than a lot of level 1 autistics I personally know. There’s a lot to take into consideration, since the shutdowns are exasperated by my dissociative disorder. And my level of independence is impacted by my seizure disorder(s). Plus a bunch of other things that complicate how my symptoms present.

I want to briefly clarify that I am fully supportive of people self diagnosing. I self diagnosed in middle school with ADHD and autism, mostly cause no one would listen to me and the adults in my life had no interest in assisting me. Turns out I was correct. And I believe most people who self diagnose are correct about their situation as well. Not everyone is privileged enough to get diagnosed, and some people don’t want a diagnosis for various reasons. Sometimes just understanding why you feel and experience life in the way you do is enough. For me, I needed to get diagnosed because I require supportive services that would otherwise be unavailable to me without diagnosis.

Alright, have a nice day everyone!

[lovebecomeshim]

hello! your zutara posting today has finally motivated me to ask this question because I came to atla very late(last year, to be specific) and I Love It Very Much but am 1000% out of the loop as far as why what remains of fandom (at least that I've seen among my friends) is so very strongly zutara. I'm not opposed to it per se I just don't really know what has driven it to apparently be such a popular ship? can you help me understand and maybe convert me a little bit?

Hey!! Your ICON! :D I can try but I’m not sure how coherent I’ll be; however I AM sure someone a lot more competent will be willing to add to this. Either way, I’m glad you asked because my plan was to drag down as many people as possible with me.

*smacks the hood of zutara* this baby can fit so much mutual love and support!

This got so long, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to put it under a cut on mobile and it already got deleted once so I’m scared to mess with it lol. Moving on.

I’m gonna start this with a disclaimer that im on mobile so formatting is tricky and I’m also really new to atla in that I only completed my first watch through in like 2019??? So some of my info is all just based on what I’ve picked up from Discourse 👀 so anyway the sparknotes version: zutara was wildly popular from the beginning. To the point where the atla crew internally disagreed on which ship should be endgame. (Ex. Bryke [showrunners] asked the writers to rewrite The Southern Raiders to make Zuko seem less ideal for Katara than Aang [which failed, depending on who you ask]; the animation team purposefully created a visual parrallel between Oma and Shu in the Cave of Two Lovers and Zuko and Katara in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se in the Crossroads of Destiny; etc.)

The ship was popular enough that Bryke actually chose to display zk fanart at a con for the sole purpose of mocking the fans, but that’s neither here nor there. The entire episode Ember Island Players, while a love letter to/parody of the whole show, was an opportunity to address zutara’s viability as a canon pairing (while, again, mocking zutaras for romanticizing that catacombs scene). Point is! It’s always been popular but with it not being endgame, there’s got to be something that’s given it staying power.

And that’s honestly got to do with three things: their dynamic, thematic cohesion, and potential.

(You know what... you know what, it’s four things. The fourth is they’re so aesthetically pleasing together and individually. Like, they’re just good looking people [specifically when they’re grown but they’re also cute kids] and that absolutely doesn’t hurt) (but it’s not the Point, it’s just nice to point out sometimes)

The dynamic is hard to get into without also looking at the canon pairings, but I think I can do that without unnecessary bashing. It’s just that part of the magic of zutara is really highlighted by what they give to each other that their other relationships don’t.

First off, it’s classic enemies to (would be) lovers. The absolute truest form of it. It’s not too different from how CS started out: a rogue antagonist with a job to do—but no personal vendetta against the future love interest—who is deeply and emotionally invested in his personal storyline (revenge/redemption) with little regard for how it effects other people after his entire life and genuine good nature are marred by suffering, and a fierce warrior girl with a strong moral compass and her own personal investment in stopping him (protect her family and save the world doing it). Obviously frustration and animosity grew between them by the nature of them being on opposing sides, but that just lends itself to the sweetness of their later reconciliation.

The thing is that while they’re wildly different on the surface (he’s a hot-headed prince of a fascist regime who is trying to capture the Avatar to please his father; she’s a nurturing daughter of the chief who is trying to protect and train the Avatar in order to topple his father’s throne) they find out that they have so much more in common both in their experiences and their personalities.

(What follows is an excessive use of the word “both” and I’m sorry about that)(I can edit it. I can do that. That IS an option............)

They both have an innate sense of justice that they are determined to see done (zuko, at the war meeting, sticking up for the Earth Kingdom kid when the guards torment his family, choosing not to steal from the pregnant couple despite his circumstances, abiding by his word to leave the SWT should Aang come willingly, etc.; katara, literally.... at any point). They both have pretty one-track minds at accomplishing certain goals once they’ve put their mind to it, regardless of a lack of support in that endeavor (it goes without saying I guess, but zuko’s entire hunt; katara’s determination to get the earth benders to fight back, her determination to absolutely destroy Pakku until he agrees to teach her, etc.). They both lost their mothers at young ages. Their worlds are war-torn and traumatizing to them both, if in different ways, but that ultimately forces them to grow up too quickly to be wholly independent individuals. They both have issues with their fathers (for WILDLY different reasons, but). They both hold extreme prejudices that they need to learn to overcome (which ties into thematic cohesion)(bit like Lizzie and Darcy in that way but magnified by a million). They’re both extremely emotional and empathetic—which can and often does result in loud outbursts. Katara’s a bit better adjusted and can temper her anger for longer than S1 Zuko can, but they both feel that anger deeply and have no compunctions expressing it (Katara is, usually, more justified, particularly in S1. Again, S1 Zuko is severely maladjusted but at the point when they could’ve feasibly become a couple, he’s so much better off with the way he carries himself). They both struggle with feelings of inferiority in their bending abilities when confronted with prodigal benders like Aang and Azula, but have the work ethic required to double down and become two of the most powerful benders in the three remaining nations. This is a little more minor but it is a parrallel that appeals to some shippers that they both have these alter egos in the Painted Lady (notably fire nation coded) and the Blue Spirit (water tribe coded) that are pretty different from who they are day-to-day and are useful in accomplishing a purpose that they as themselves cannot.

(I’m.... I just realized that this could potentially get very long. Should I have made a slide show with bullet points??????)

Anyway, similar. I know there’s more but there’s literally so much to love about zutara that I’ll drive myself a little crazy trying to compile all the ways they’re similar. (Just gonna say that at this exact moment I went back to add more similarities.... so okay then)

Once they’ve reconciled, we see how all of these things only lend themselves to a deeper intimacy together than they share with literally anyone else. There’s a steady partnership that positions them as the mom/dad of the gaang, while also providing the support necessary to allow the other to not have to carry so much responsibility. A lot of zutaras will point out how zuko is actually depicted doing the more domestic chores that are normally relegated to Katara once he joins the gaang, since the others in the group are two 12-year-olds and sokka. The one that sticks out the most is how he makes tea for the group and then serves them, while Katara is able to just relax with her friends around the fire. Fanon expands upon this a lot to Zuko helping with the laundry or the cooking or whatever else needs doing since he, as a once-refugee, is used to doing his own domestic tasks. Before Zuko joined, Katara was the one mothering everyone, sewing for them, cooking for them, etc. She’s always tending to the needs of the group, and that includes emotionally. She does the emotional labor for the gaang 99% of the time, but when she’s the one falling apart, she’s usually doing it alone and without the comfort that she normally provides for others. Until Zuko. And that’s before they’re even friends.

Which is WHY people romanticize the catacombs of Ba Sing Se so much. Katara is verbally attacking Zuko out of her own righteous anger but also her own prejudice when Zuko, surprisingly, chooses to be vulnerable with her. He’s been on a journey that’s opened his eyes a bit, but he’s never actively chosen to expose the rawest parts of his past to anyone. But for some reason he chooses to do that with Katara of all people. While she’s yelling at him. He sees her humanity, and for once can look past his prejudice and empathize with her. And this time, when she breaks down, she gets to be comforted. Katara normally talks about her mother when she’s trying to explain to someone else that she sees and understands they’re pain, as a form of comfort to them. Here, Zuko uses the exact same tactic. He sees her and he understands. And for zuko? He’s not being shut down. He’s allowed to articulate his pain regarding his mother without being ignored and made to internalize it, and he’s allowed to process how he feels about his scar out loud without being told that he deserved it. And then he lets her touch his scar, something we’ve seen him actively avoid before. He’s completely open to her and she’s completely open to him and all it took was one five minute conversation. She was about to use the little bit of Spirit water that she had, that she was saving for something Important, to heal the scar that still daily causes him pain just because they had, somehow, connected.

Plus there’s the whole parallel to the star-crossed lovers forbidden from one another, a war divides their people—

And then zuko messes up, he regresses, he gets what he wants and he HATES it. And the sense of justice he had as a child has been restored to him against his will and he can’t think of anything he wants to do more than the Right Thing, so he joins team avatar. Before he does that though, we get to see his relationship with Mai, which is where comparison really comes in. And what we see is Zuko, fresh off of his encounter with Katara in the catacombs, trying to be emotionally honest with Mai... and getting shut down and dismissed. Which is just how Mai is and it’s fine, but not for Zuko. Still, he keeps trying, and he keeps getting ignored or scoffed at or yelled at. Which is really a larger symbol for how he doesn’t fit in his old life anymore, but again that’s about thematic cohesion. He tries to articulate his anxieties about returning home, he tries to make romantic gestures, he tries to explain how morally conflicted he’s feeling—and Mai diverts to some kind of physical affection to shut him up and a parting comment that is pretty much always, in essence, “I don’t wanna talk about this.” So they don’t. On the other hand, once zuko and Katara are friends, we see him again emotionally distraught and caught up in his anxieties about facing Iroh, and it’s Katara who comes to him and listens to him and comforts and encourages him.

Similarly, we have Aang clamming up and getting uncomfortable whenever Katara shows any negative emotion, usually resulting in him making excuses or running away. Or, in the case of the Southern Raiders, lecturing her on how she needs to just let go of her anger about her mother’s murder. People have talked this episode to death and usually better than I ever could, so imma... keep it brief. There’s a serious disconnect between Aang and Katara in his ability to empathize with Katara and her needs that has her tamping down her vulnerability and amping up her anger. He tells her that he was able to forgive his people’s genocide and appa’s kidnapping (petnapping? Theft??), which is blatantly not true but also not an entirely equal parrallel to Katara’s situation, and continues making these little remarks throughout the episode. But it’s Zuko that Katara opens up to. It’s with him that she’s able to talk about the most traumatic day of her life, and it’s with him that she’s able to get the closure she needs, cementing their bond as friends and partners. This disagreement between Aang and Katara is then... never resolved. They just never bring it up and hear what the other is saying.

There’s a fic called The Portraits of Ember Island that has a line that so completely sums up the heart of the matter for why people love their dynamic. For context, zuko has woken up early to help Katara with the cooking and they spend the whole time just letting one another talk, and zuko stops to ask why she always just lets him talk. And so she stops to ask why he’s always helping, and it goes as follows:

There’s just... so much mutual support! Trust! Intimacy!! And it just continues like that from the Southern Raiders on, listening to each other, advising each other, watching each other’s backs! And then! Literally saving each other’s lives!! I will never be over the last Agni kai. Not ever. Zuko may have been willing to jump in front of lightning for anyone, but he actually did it for Katara. And in a show, that’s the thing that really matters. It’s a fulfilled trope usually exclusively applied to romantic pairings, and it ended up applying to Zuko and Katara. And then she ran out into the middle of a fight with tunnel vision just to get to him.

Also!! Also Zuko pushing Katara out of the way of the falling rocks at the Western Air Temple!! And Katara catching him as he fell from the war balloon that he fought Azula on!! Before they’re even getting along, they’re the ones reaching for each other. They come to this place of equal ground, as partners, who watch each other’s backs, call each other out but still listen attentively and understand, and provide the support that the other has been sorely lacking up until they knew each other (whether that be from lack of effort or lack of understanding from others, or an unwillingness to accept it for themselves).

Then, trailing along under the surface of this, we see the themes of the show totally embodied by Zuko and Katara as individuals and in their relationship to one another. There’s a YouTuber, sneezyreviews, who has a, like, 2-hour explanation on why she not only loves zutara but also believes that their endgame would’ve actually elevated the writing of atla to new levels particularly because of thematic cohesion and resolved character arcs. It’s the zutara dissertation I never knew I needed, and it’s funny and eloquent and effective, so I’m just going to sum up her section on thematic cohesion to the best of my abilities and then link it for whenever you have the time. And I HIGHLY recommend it, especially if you want a full understanding of what makes zutara so great and gives it such longevity.

Guru pathik has a line that goes something like this: separation is an illusion; things that seem different are just two parts of the same whole. Iroh also tells Zuko something similar: balance and strength are achieved when the different nations come together and influence one another and celebrate what makes them each unique. And this lesson is a massive central arc that both Zuko and Katara go through, moving past a black-and-white, good guys-vs-bad guys, us-vs-them mentality and into a greyer, more nuanced view of the world. Zuko sees the fire nation from an entirely new perspective and while he still loves and hopes for his nations future, he surrenders his blind loyalty to them in exchange for an unflinching loyalty to peace and love. Katara too had to come to terms with the fact that cruel people exist in the earth kingdom and water tribes, while some fire nation citizens are just regular, kind people who also need and deserve to have someone speak on their behalf. And this is honed in directly on how they view each other. They grow in their individual journeys to be open to the humanity in the other and then, once they’ve found that, they’re able to grow more in compassion for others in a beautiful feedback loop. And this is all matched in the symbolism repeatedly and intentionally associated with them in canon: sun and moon, fire and water, yin and yang, Oma and Shu who found love despite their warring nations. Their individual arcs are completed in each other and complement the themes of atla beautifully.

The canon pairs... just don’t. Which, again, is fine. But the very things that give atla longevity and popularity are anchored in zutara. Kat@ang doesn’t accomplish this. They’re... nice. Sweet. Especially when you erase a good portion of their interactions in S3. It could’ve been just a sweet love story. (Personally, the dynamic between toph and aang accomplish the same thing that zutara does, with complementary personalities that fulfill the theme of opposites blending in harmony) M@iko, on the other hand, is less sweet but I think wasn’t even supposed to last. Zuko’s relationship with Mai seems to represent his relationship with his old life as a whole. He can’t be emotionally vulnerable, he’s goaded into abusing his privileges, his agency and opinions aren’t respected. They just don’t have common ground with which to discuss anything that matters, so they don’t. As far as themes, the relationship doesn’t fit with atla. It’s zuko returning to and sticking with what is (on the surface) like him, what’s expected. Fire nation with fire nation. Fluid water bender with the flexible air bender. Like with like, separated from what is different and challenging and complementary.

And all of these things combined of course lead to the potential for the ship. I don’t know how familiar you are with the post-atla canon but... well, miss “I will never turn my back on people who need me”, miss “I don’t want to heal! I want to fight!” ends up living quietly in the SWT as a designated healer who turns a blind eye to the water tribe civil war happening right outside her front door. Which can be fine! People change! Some people just wanna stay inside. I just wanna stay inside! But the potential future for zutara is so much more satisfying, with Katara becoming the most unconventional Fire Lady the uppity old cads who are stuck on the old ways have ever seen. Fanon has her serving as a voice for the other nations within a kingdom at the point of its biggest political upheaval, as a confidante to Zuko who can actually help him while he’s trying to figure out how to move forward and make reparations. They have the opportunity, together, to accomplish what they both have set on their hearts to fight for: positive change that lends itself to harmony and balance. And the steambabies! A popular headcanon is that their firstborn daughter, the crown princess, is actually a waterbender, which causes such an uproar among the people who are adamantly clinging to the old ways. It’s just a future full of potential to be forces for good together, full of trust, intimacy, joy. The exact era of peace and love and balance that zuko announces that he intends to ring in with the start of his reign as Fire Lord is, again, magnified by the very personal zutara relationship. And we love to see it.

tl;dr zutara isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t vibe with it. Some are nostalgic. Some love the canon they grew up with. Some have been disappointed for years. Some just see themselves in other characters and want their happiness instead. Whatever the reason, that’s fine. But for me, I love the way these two, from the moment they give each other a fair chance, are able to lower their walls and prejudices to see the other for the kindred spirits they are. They see each other’s humanity, and their response is to pour out love and support and compassion. I love that they’re a power couple in battle. I love the symbolism and, honestly, soulmatism that colors their every interaction. I love that they embody the whole storyline of atla in their relationship and how it develops, which is notably why their seasonal arcs always culminate in each finale with how they relate to one another. I love that zuko adopting a waterbending move is what actually saves his life and then katara’s. I love the chemistry! And I love the future they could’ve had, instead of the ones they were given.

So, in conclusion: I just think they’re neat and I hope you do too, at least a little bit. Even if it’s just respectfully from a disinterested distance cause you do you. And now here is the video I mentioned. I’m sorry this post got so long and then I gave you an even longer homework assignment, but I can’t recommend it enough. She says it all better than I can.